You wake up in the morning. You need a hit. Nothing will work properly unless you get some of that stuff. You head to work, you are a mess, and nothing will be right until you get some of that. You get your coffee, you have your smoke (if that’s your kicks — not mine, but it is for some), and you still can’t shake that feeling. That feeling like you are about to hit the next person you see if they don’t give you a little something. Sit down at your desk, and finally… you have the opportunity to get just what you are craving.
Food.
I don’t know about you, but I am not normal if I am hungry. If I’m hungry, I NEED to eat and it needs to happen as soon as possible. If you are in the line of my fire, I’m sorry for you.
Here’s the worst part about food, though. And it was my biggest mental battle when I started this.
You can’t quit food. You need food to live.
It’s not like quitting smoking, not like quitting drugs or alcohol. Nothing like that.
So when you become addicted to the worst, fat-ridden types of food (like I was) — you’re in for a haul. Because you can’t just go cold-turkey with food. There is strategy. You have to replace certain foods with other, healthier options. And you have to consider the difference between eating healthier to be healthy, and eating healthier to be healthy and lose weight. Because not everyone needs to lose weight but there are many people who make the choice to eat healthy. Those people who eat the fat-ridden foods but still stayed tiny. Yeah, those ones… /jealousy
Anyway when you make the choice to eat healthier and lose weight, there is a bit of a roller coaster ride you go through. And one year, six months after making this choice, I’m convinced it’s a never-ending roller coaster. It goes kinda like this:
– AWESOME!!! You made a wicked choice to change your life and you are going to lose SO. MUCH. WEIGHT. Like, really, you’re going to be a hot supermodel in NO TIME!!
– Man, I miss pizza… maybe just once. If I go to the gym.
– YESS!! GYM!!! WORK OFF PIZZA!!! FEEL SO HIGH RIGHT NOW!!! YESSSS!!!!! SKINNY!!!
– I still miss pizza, but NO!
– Man, I really miss poutine…
– Crap, that poutine made me gain weight this week. Point of no return….
– Crap, that binge sucked.
– Fresh start!
And repeat. Seriously, that has been my weight loss journey. And if you take out those words “Fresh start” at the end, it sounds like someone relapsing. It seriously feels like it. I can’t say I know first hand, but it is what I imagine a relapse feeling like.
I am also extremely lucky that I’ve let those two words happen. I don’t get sick of the “Fresh start” part of things. It’s all part of life. I think a lot of people let the relapse get them and pull them back in.
With that said — I know how extremely harmful drugs, alcohol, even smoking, are. So I’m in no way saying that what I’ve gone through quitting my bad eating habits are at par with the intensity of drug abuse.
It is just so hard leaving those habits when you NEED food to live. Literally.
Here’s to Monday and the fresh start it will bring, after my weekend of burgers, pulled pork, and Tim Horton’s. Oh, and I’m totally going to lose weight next week – and I mean that.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kait! 